My first post to Brutal Honesty

There was no way I could turn down Free Sailor Jerry’s Night, even if it meant stumbling into class haggard and unsure of whether I was still drunk or excessively hungover the next day. Free booze is free booze, and alcoholism is alcoholism.

My friend and I made the long commute to the bar and arrived about five or ten minutes too soon. I had never previously experienced entering a bar completely sober before, and I didn’t like the feeling. Plus, the two of us were unsure what Free Sailor Jerry’s Night entailed—one drink, two drinks? We walked down to a convenience store and purchased the cheapest liquor they had—a shitty plastic bottle of Jim Beam.

On the walk back, we slammed the whiskey, thinking Free Sailor Jerry’s Night might be a bust. But when we got back to the mostly empty bar, we received token after token for free Sailor Jerry’s. And despite the free drinks, we idiotically continued to swig the Jim Beam on smoke breaks outside.

Though my memory begins to fade immediately after someone told me my friend was puking in the bathroom, I’ve tried piecing it together, and this is what I’ve decided happened:

The bar kicked us out because my friend was in such bad shape. I was too, obviously, but I managed to hide it better.

Outside, one of the bartenders or bar workers or perhaps even bar patrons and I kissed. He gave me a twenty for the cab because there was no way in hell my friend and I would figure out how to get back to the L. I must have immediately forgotten about the twenty, because I assumed the guy I was kissing was going to give me a ride home.

I hopped into a car, unaware of what was going on until I heard a groan and felt hot cum hit my face. I snapped from my haze and looked up to see who I had sucked off. A man in his forties wearing a red turban asked me if I wanted to pull over so he could pleasure me. “No.” I couldn’t even look at him. “Please keep driving.”

When we reached my building, I asked sheepishly if I had to pay. But of course I didn’t. I just fulfilled the universal cab driver fantasy.

Summary: I accidentally blew a cabbie and made 46 dollars in the process, all while my friend was passed out in the back seat. And I definitely did not make it to my 12:30 class.

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